Realistic Self-Care That Works With Kids at Home
Realistic Self-Care That Works With Kids at Home
I'd like to share A Story & Guide for Overwhelmed Parents and Caregivers
The Story: When “Self-Care” Felt Like a Joke
There was a time when I’d hear people talk about “self-care” and honestly want to roll my eyes.
Take a long bath? Meditate in silence? Go for a weekend retreat?
I had kids at home — one with special needs — and silence wasn’t something that existed in our house.
There were therapies to schedule, meltdowns to manage, meals to make, and never enough hands.
One night, after everyone was finally asleep, I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize the person staring back at me.
I wasn’t angry. I was empty.
That’s when I realized: self-care doesn’t have to be luxurious — it just has to be realistic.
The Truth About Self-Care (When You’re a Parent or Caregiver)
Self-care isn’t about escaping your life.
It’s about finding ways to nurture yourself within it.
You don’t need hours of uninterrupted time or a spa day.
You need micro-moments of restoration that fit your real world — the one with sticky counters, endless questions, and a heart full of love and exhaustion.
Let’s Redefine What “Counts” as Self-Care
Here are three principles that make self-care workable when you have kids at home:
1️⃣ Think “Micro,” Not Massive.
You don’t need 60 minutes. You need six.
✨ Examples:
Take a 3-minute “doorway pause” before walking into another room.
Step outside for 2 minutes of sunshine and deep breathing.
Sit in your car after drop-off and listen to one favorite song before driving away.
These moments reset your nervous system — tiny doses of calm that add up over time.
2️⃣ Include, Don’t Exclude.
If you can’t find time away from your kids, bring them into your practice.
✨ Examples:
Turn on relaxing music while you cook together and call it your “family unwind time.”
Do a quick stretch with your child before bed — it helps both of you release tension.
Practice gratitude out loud at the dinner table: each person says one thing they appreciated that day.
This transforms caregiving time into connection time — and that’s deeply restorative.
3️⃣ Choose Rest Over Ritual.
Many caregivers chase “perfect” self-care routines — journaling, yoga, meal prep — and then feel guilty when they can’t keep up.
Drop the perfection.
Choose what your body and mind actually need in that moment.
✨ Some days it’s:
Lying on the floor with your feet up the wall.
Saying “no” to one more obligation.
Eating a sandwich while the laundry waits.
Laughing at a silly video with your kids.
That’s self-care, too — because it replenishes your energy, not your image.
The Emotional Reframe: You Deserve to Feel Human
Caregivers often feel like they have to earn rest — that they can only take a break once everything else is done.
And when you’re raising kids, especially those with special needs, that “everything else” never ends.
You don’t have to wait for permission to breathe.
You are allowed to be both the caregiver and the cared-for.
The Takeaway: Small Acts, Big Shifts
When self-care becomes realistic, it stops being one more thing to fail at — and starts being a way to live.
Try this tonight:
Before bed, ask yourself:
“What’s one thing I can do tomorrow that would make my day 5% lighter?”
Maybe it’s taking your coffee outside. Maybe it’s texting a friend. Maybe it’s going to bed 20 minutes earlier.
That’s self-care that works — because it meets you where you are.
Closing Encouragement
You don’t have to chase balance — you can build it one small, kind act at a time.
Your kids are watching not just what you do for them, but how you care for yourself.
When they see you rest, breathe, and smile again — they learn that love includes you.💙
With peace and love.
Drew Deraney, The Caregiver & Family Health Coach