Before & After: One Family’s Story of Progress
Before & After: One Family’s Story of Progress
A guide for caregivers who wonder, “Is change really possible for us?”
Progress rarely arrives in a straight line. For most families—especially those caring for a child with autism or an aging parent—it comes in small, almost unnoticeable shifts. This is the story of one family who thought things would never get better… until they did.
Before: Living in Constant Survival Mode
Maria and her husband, Dan, loved their 10-year-old son, Leo, deeply. Leo was bright, funny, and wonderfully curious—but his autism came with challenges that often left the family emotionally and physically drained.
Their mornings were rushed and chaotic.
Meals were quick and scattered.
Sleep was broken.
Emotions were raw.
Maria quietly carried the heaviest load. She attended all the appointments, managed schedules, communicated with the school, and tried to interpret every meltdown as a clue to what Leo might need. But in doing so, she forgot to ask herself what she needed.
One night, after a particularly difficult therapy session, Maria admitted to Dan:
"I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I feel like we’re failing him… and I’m failing myself."
It wasn’t dramatic. It was honest. And it was the moment their “before” chapter ended.
The Turning Point: Allowing Themselves to Ask for Help
Maria reached out to a family health coach—not because she believed coaching would solve everything, but because she feared what would happen if nothing changed.
In their first session, Maria apologized three times within five minutes.
She worried she wasn’t doing enough.
She worried she was doing too much.
She worried she wasn’t strong, patient, or calm enough.
Her coach didn’t ask her to be stronger.
He asked her to be human.
Together, they began by identifying the three biggest sources of stress:
Unpredictable routines
Lack of sleep and rest
Feeling alone in decision-making
Instead of tackling everything at once—a common trap—her coach helped her implement one small strategy per week.
After (In Progress): What Changed—And What Didn’t
Six weeks later, nothing about Leo’s diagnosis had changed.
But everything about how the family functioned had.
1. Mornings Shifted From Chaos to Calm(er)
A visual schedule on the fridge gave Leo predictability.
A 5-minute breathing ritual gave Maria grounding.
Dan took over one morning routine per week, giving Maria a moment to breathe.
2. Maria Stopped Carrying the Load Alone
She began delegating tasks to her husband without guilt.
She asked the school for clearer communication and support—and this time, she didn’t freeze in the meeting.
She connected with two other mothers facing similar challenges.
She still had long days, but she no longer felt alone inside them.
3. The Family Began Celebrating “Micro-Wins”
One meltdown avoided? That counted.
One Tuesday morning without tears? That counted.
One evening where Leo tried a new food? That counted.
The victories were not dramatic.
But they were real.
And they built momentum.
The Truth About Progress
Progress didn’t look like perfection.
It didn’t look like a dramatic transformation montage from a movie.
It looked like a family learning to exhale again.
It looked like parents who stopped blaming themselves and started supporting each other.
It looked like a child who didn’t feel the tension in the room every minute of the day.
Most importantly, it looked like a caregiver—Maria—who remembered that she mattered too.
Key Takeaways for Caregivers
1. You don’t have to overhaul your life to make progress.
Small, consistent shifts create real change.
2. You deserve support—practically and emotionally.
Asking for help is not weakness. It’s stewardship of your own well-being.
3. Progress isn’t measured by perfection.
It’s measured by moments when life feels just a little lighter.
4. Your own health is the foundation of your caregiving.
When you reset, regulate, and receive support, everyone around you benefits.
5. Your “After” doesn’t need to be a destination.
It’s simply the next chapter of a story you are still writing, one courageous step at a time.
A Closing Message for Every Caregiver
If you’ve ever looked at your family’s challenges and thought,
“We’re too overwhelmed. Change isn’t possible for us,”
please hear this:
You are not alone.
You are not failing.
And progress—your version of progress—is absolutely possible.
Just like Maria, you don’t need to transform everything at once.
You only need one brave moment to begin.
With love,
Drew Deraney
The Caregiver & Family Health Coach